You’ve met that woman before right?
Drama follows her everywhere.
Current relationship issues.
She’s fighting with a half of her immediate family.
Then of course the friend drama.
And that’s just the “life” stuff.
Because of course there is also business drama, client drama and money drama.
In my 20’s I used to be that woman.
I thrived on it.
If I had something to fight against life felt normal.
I was comfortable with fighting.
Fighting was my default.
It was taught to me at an early age when I witnessed my parents fighting… a lot.
Then the domestic violence.
And the violence I was subjected to.
WAITING for the violence seemed way worse than the violence itself.
In the moment I could deal with it but waiting for it to occur seemed like torture.
That and waiting for the sexual abuse.
And witnessing my mum’s beatings.
ALL OF IT.
So how did I stop the waiting…the most painful part?
By creating situations that would speed up the process and bring it closer faster.
I did a great job of inviting drama on an epic scale when I entered a relationship with my ex (my kids’ father).
A decade of next level drama that made me a very good fighter.
Thankfully not physically (except for that one time).
The end result was that man went to jail and I was raising my kids alone and at the same time helping them heal.
I chose to move away from the drama.
I moved towns and the drama stopped.
But it could have stopped while I was there.
Because it’s a choice.
I chose to live my entire life as a drama free zone.
Recently I’ve been exposed to drama and it’s shown me just how far I’ve come.
And how much I’ve learned.
And how important protecting myself from drama is.
Life is filled with everyday, garden variety drama’s anyway so why invite more?
SO….IS YOUR LIFE LIKE A BAD SOAP OPERA?
If it is I’m not judging you in the least.
But I want you to wake up and smell the roses.
It might FEEL like you can’t help but be dragged into the drama but trust me…you can.
Stand back and look at the drama in your life and ask yourself this question.
What is MY role in this?
It’s easy to blame the asshole ex-husband.
Or your crappy family.
or your partner’s annoying habits.
But at the end of the day YOU control how you handle things.
The thing that woke me up was reading Viktor E Frankle’s book “A Mans’ Search For Meaning”.
I was under the guidance of an amazing naturopath who was so much more than that as I was in and out of court fighting my ex for custody and then as a witness for the prosecution as my ex faced charges that would later send him to jail.
This amazing man was helping me to repair my burned out adrenals.
He took a holistic approach that basically “threw everything at it” in a bid to get me well again.
I was operating in “fight or flight” mode and I had been for months and months…something was going to give if I didn’t get a handle on the way I was dealing with (or not dealing with) the stress I was under.
The circled passage you see in the image above changed my world.
I could finally see I had a CHOICE about how I handled things.
Supported by my naturopath’s “Shit Shield” visual technique (where you imagine you’re wearing a clear plastic shit shield whenever you have to deal with people and their drama – you imagine any shit thrown slides right off without making contact with you) and Catastrophe Scale (google it, it’s a fabulous tool for gaining and keeping perspective) I had the tools to turn my drama filled life around.
Ladies…do NOT give your energy to shit that does not serve you in your journey to greatness.
DO NOT let other peoples ugliness make you ugly too.
Be bigger than that.
Rise above it all.
Walk away from the drama.
ALL OF IT.
My ex was still an asshole.
I was still in and out of courts for a very long time after that.
I had so much pressure on me anyone else would have buckled.
But I chose to not let it impact me in a negative way.
I chose to think about the drama only when it needed to be handled.
And the rest of the time I chose to think about the life I wanted and the things I was grateful for in the one I was living.
Another thing you should know…
Your body becomes conditioned to handle stress in a certain way.
For me everything would tighten up.
Tightness in my chest.
I was in physical pain a lot.
And I was like a walking, talking nerve-end.
I was in a constant state of anxiety.
I didn’t eat.
And I felt 100 years old.
Drama is still around, we can’t avoid it.
But I don’t invite any added drama than that I can’t avoid.
HERE’S THE THING….
You CANNOT operate as a high vibe, ass kicking entrepreneurial woman in a drama filled life.
I promise you.
Building a successful business and showing up as a kickers leader WILL take you at your best.
And with a life filled with drama you’re no-where near your best.
So get your shit together.
Ditch the drama.
And enjoy life the way it was supposed to be lived.
In a space of joy, love and abundance.
You can do it.
But you need to let go of your need to fight against something so life feels normal.